"Be home when the street lights turn on Kristen!" ... a thing of the past

warning...long and sad post to follow.

I used to play at the park across the street for hours when I was little. I would know when to come home when it started getting dark. It was really fun. I cant remember, but my parents must have talked to me about talking to strangers because I was deathly afraid of black vans. I remember one afternoon when Catherine (my good 2nd grade Buddy) and I were riding our bikes along our street when a black van passed us...I was terrified. Then in circled and passed us again. I remember running so hard to my front door that my legs felt like rubber, I was so scared. Although the black van thing might still be something to be scared of, I think the days of playing with friends or siblings, until the street lights come on are a thing of the past..at least for me raising my kids. This is a sad thing. I beleive in the goodness of people. I know that the terrible, sick awfull people that hurt children are a small percentage, but boy do they get me fired up!

Yesterday and today have been rough days emotionally for me. I found myself completly emotionally involved in a case of a missing girl. I was glued to the TV. Everytime programming was interuppted, Bella would wonder why. I vaguely told her they were looking for a little girl who was lost. she asked me "I bet her parents are scared" and "I know heavenly father will send his love and find her for her parents" Even in her prayers, she was praying for her. Had I ben able, I would have gone to help search. Sadly, it was not a happy ending. She was found at a neighbors house at their apartment complex 3 doors down!! I dont want to spread the gloominess I feel, and I suppose I could privatly write these feelings in my personal journal but I think its an important message to share and think about.

I have been thinking today, how do you talk to your children about stranger danger? When do you start? We have been teaching Bella slowly over the last year what she should do in certain situations, heaven forbid there would ever be one. I think its wise to prepare my kids, even if it does take away a little of the innocence I would love to preserve forever. We have tried to tackle it appropriatly for her age. I know this is paranoia at its finest for me, but if my kids are out of my sight for a second, I get very panicky..I even have a hard time letting them play in the backyard by themselves, and the front yard, you can forget about it. I guess what it comes down to for me is balance. I want my kids to feel independant. I dont want to instill fear in them of being my themselves or not trusting people, yet its my job to be cautious and educatate them so they are prepared. I must say, Bella is pretty prepared to put up one heck of a rumble if anyone messes with her! I tend to let fear take me over sometimes, I dont like this. I am reminding myself to use every day I have with them to its fullest and enjoy their wonderfull happy childhood with them...and not in fear of losing them.