Its my blog and I'll cry if I want to

I came across some pictures that I love that never made it to the blog. I am sort of sitting here reminiscing and getting teary eyed, which for those that know me, know thats not really hard to do in the first place. Plus, whenever I blog, I listen to music, and music to any picture just gets me everytime. I guess I am feeling a bit nostalgic about our time here in Utah. Buddy is ramping up for the big push to graduation. He is tirelesly working amidst feeling so burnt out with a riguourous schedule of clinical hours, preceptor hours, full class load and graveyard shifts at work. See, he was in his first year of school when his dad was diagnosed with Cancer. The thought of taking a break to spend time with him was a very real possibility. But Mike wasnt hearing it. He told Buddy he was to keep going, and expressed how proud he was of him. And Buddy hasnt stopped. That was 4 years ago. Words can not express the pride he would feel if he were to see his son now. If only.



When we moved to Utah, we were so very excited to be progressing along the path we have worked so hard towards. Utah being a place I knew would be temporary, it took me until now, a year and a half later, to say to Buddy "Im really going to miss it when we move" I dont know how much of the missing will be the state, or the memories. Oregon is our home, we belong there, but Utah, sweet Utah. I love the struggling student life, as hard as that is to say. Being poor has its perks. I'll tell you when I compile them. Back to here, its where I have tried to pour myself into photography to not forget about what out life is like at this stage. So when we are more comfortably living, and the kids have earbuds stuck in their ears, when their friends have more pull over their decisions than we do, when we have decent furniture and the wall art isnt yesterdays crayon, or lunch for that matter, when Buddy and I see a good time as going to a dinner and a movie *by ourselves* as the perfect date. I can look back and remember that there was a time when the kids, 5 and 2 clung to us like a sock right out of the dryer, when we took walks on Sundays, when we played in the mud, when we had balloon fights on the first hot day of the summer, when we made up stories and what we imagined was every bit as real as the air we breathe. Its the time in Utah. They wont be 5 and 2 anywhere else. I have to document every second..I dont want to forget. There are sort of alot of photos, but theres no such thing as too much when it comes to memories.

Sidewalk hopscotch






Playing with bubbles




buying more bubbles..


having fun in the backyard




dancing in fields


just being together.

doing good

Have I done any good in the world today?
Have I helped anyone in need?
Have I cheered up the sad and made someone feel glad?
If not, I have failed indeed.
Has anyone’s burden been lighter today
Because I was willing to share?
Have the sick and the weary been helped on their way?
When they needed my help was I there?

Then wake up and do something more
Than dream of your mansion above.
Doing good is a pleasure, a joy beyond measure,
A blessing of duty and love.

-Hymn 223, LDS Hymnbook

I have always enjoyed this hymn. Its so fun to sing with such a wonderful message that we've have tried to teach it to the kids as a night time song. Bella has it down, Moses, we're still working on him. This song comes to my mind many times lately when Bella has been earning her Daisy petals in Girl Scouts. The latest petels she earned was Make the world a Better place and caring and compassion. Her little troop went to a senior center and planted flowers outside the window for the residents there. The smiles on the kids faces and the lesson they learned about community service, as well as beautifying the earth, was a testiment to me of how wonderfully enriching the Girl Scout program is. They prepared for this activity a few months ago by planting marigold seeds in recycled detergent cups. I mean, really..who thinks of that? Not me. I thought it was so clever and a great way to recycle and be resourcefull! We love the Girl Scout program, its taught Isabella invaluable lessons of compassion, caring, honesty and doing good that I am sure she will keep with her forever.

I love this. She's like "honestly mom, your embarassing me already"

let the mindnumbing joy begin

I am addicted to some shows on TV. I mean, I actually try to get off work so I can catch them, so bad. Buddy says hes getting me a DVR someday, I think thats a great idea. If you are anything like me, you live for the following hours worth of sometimes sleezy, funny, always entertaining TV. And, dont worry, the kids are in bed, so I can enjoy guiltlessly.

Mondays: The Bachelorette, The Newlyweds (if you havnt seen this, please PLEASE give it a try, its so funny and so real) and then...THEN...THE HILLS, or the City, depending on the season.

Tuesdays: Tori and Dean, Home sweet Hollywood....Okay, I know, but its so fun and Tori is so beautiful, I just have to. I think so you think you can Dance is on this night too...its just started, but you better beleive I am tuning in.

Thats it, only 2 nights a week, not to bad..right?

For a lack of anything else to blog about, I figured some of you may enjoy the same guilty pleasures as I do. Kristy...I KNOW you do :)

And since no post is complete without a photo...He's so carefree and high maintenance at the same time..Cant get enough of him.

slugger

Moses is going through a hat phase. I picked up this cute polo hat from TJ Maxx, can I say how much I love this store! It fit him perfectly. at a bargain price! At first, he wanted nothing to do with it, now he wants to wear it everywhere. I think it changes his look so much, he looks like my grown up little guy now. Now, when we are out and about and people say hi to him, they say "hi slugger" I find it so endearing, its like when someone calls me dear, or kid, I just love that. Lets not forget how much he loves his bats and any sort of ball. Slugger seems very appropriate.

too Gorgeous!

My beautiful cousin Becca asked me to take her senior photos..I was all too excited and happy that she would ask! To say it was fun would be a huge understatement, I mean, seriously, look how gorgeous she is..to top it off, she is only the very nicest and talented girl you would ever meet! I just cant pick a favorite. Its so impossible not to love her..every bit! Congratulations on your graduation, and thank you Becca and Hatches for the fun!!!!












Killer smile Becca!

new location, happy mom

“The difference between pretty and beautiful is-
pretty is temporal-whereas beautiful is eternal.”

In one day

Is it possible to have too many pictures of your kids? My poor kids, every square inch of their life is practically recorded in a photograph. Isabella absolutely hates when I have the camera out, mostly because it means I wont necessarily be playing with them as much, and Moses, he just runs away from it or never looks at it, even when I beg and bribe him. Oh well, someday I hope they will look back and be happy that I tried to document their life. On Monday, we took Buddy to school and went on some adventures. We first went to Utah Lake. It was a beautiful day and they had fun swinging and blowing wish flowers.





We then went to feed the ducks. It was calm and serene until they jumped ship and came up on land and started hissing at us...we got to the car pretty quickly. I don't know why Moses' picture is smaller...sometimes, no all the time, I hate my lack of understanding how to fix things..





After Utah Lake, I decided to go and find Bridal Veil Falls. We made it to Bridal Veil, but then realized the time and had to turn right back around to pick up Buddy. I found a cool little spot off the road along the way that I thought would be a cool location for a photo or two of Moses, this is all I got from him.




And this





And this




At least he cant say I didnt try.


Later that afternoon for Family night, we had a water banoon fight. Its since turned into a daily affair. Its quite fun.




I am finding that its best to keep the kids as busy and out and about as possible, that way we can avoid most of the bickering that has seemed to have taken hold on these two. For the most part, they get along beautifully...but lately, its been a rough road. I am thankful for days like Monday!

bam!

Inspiration comes from the funniest places, like Darby from My friends Tigger and Pooh, for example.

“It's beauty that captures your attention; personality which captures your heart.”

-unknown

Bella's thoughtful ways

She asked for some sticky tape. I heard it rip off the role. I heard the door shut. I saw a big grin. I crept outside to grab a peak. My heart melted once again. I dont know how much of her my heart can take, she's so thoughtful. I went in to kiss her goodnight again like I always do before I go to bed, and I found myself just sitting there sobbing. I am so grateful for her in my life. I was overwhelmed at my love for her. Sometimes it just hits me harder than others, tonight was one of them.

when she laughs, she really means it.

And when she is with playing with a friend, she pours herself into the fun. I love the simple, youthfull, classic, lighhearted, fun that I feel when I look at these. To be 5 again......

oh man (equin)!!

We were shopping at the mall. As usual, the kids were running rampant in the store, its only the funnest game ever to hide in the racks of clothing. I just got out of the dressing room and was picking up another shirt when I hear Buddy laughing uncontrollably. It was like slow motion, I turned around to first see the mannequins undies on the floor and as my eyes rolled up, they see Moses playing with her bum and laughing "yook, hers bum"!

Oh...my....gosh....

then he turned his attention to her bra strap and started yelling "yook! Boobs!" I cant even tell you how awkward it was to pull the mannequins goods back on and pull Moses' hand away from her bra strap. I have to admit, Buddy's laugh, just made me laugh, which made Bella laugh harder, which in turn fueled the fire for Moses to keep trying to rip her clothes off. Before you know it we were quite the spectacle. Its probley a moment that will always be top on my list as far as a visual comedy is concerned. I don't know what it is about our son and bras and underwear. Should we be concerned :)? Its posts like these that I know will be the funnest part of looking back at our blog books someday..Thanks son!

so I'll always remember...

Mothers day. Sometimes I feel like Mothers day is a day made to make me feel inadequate. Isnt that the most pessimistic way of looking at it? Okay, to start, I do not think I am a bad mother, I just have my days, like we all do. I've just had some feelings that I thought I'd share. I say this bit about being inadequate because every mothers day, we hear stories upon stories at church of mothers who seem to just make life happen so peacefully and seamingly easy. I dont sew well and I cant take scrap fabric to make my kids glorious clothes. My cooking abilities are sub-par, I hate going to to the park, I dont always keep the cleanest house, most days, Bella is lucky to get breakfast before school, I love to sleep and I'm not always the best at making Buddy feel like my number 1. What I do have however is the desire to try, to be better, to make beleive with my kids. I love to create magical moments for them and see the wonder in their eyes just thinking about what happened. I try to make Buddy feel loved and appreciated, he's everything to me. I love teaching them that the impossible is possible, that we can do and be anything we want to be, nothing can stop us if we try. I have a testimony of the Savior that I try everyday to teach them. If the only thing I do well in motherhood is to instill in them a love for Jesus Christ and a beleif that they are loved beyond measure by God and Jesus Christ, then I feel like all the other ways I don't stack up wont even matter. I wasn't sure if I should post these feelings, but I figured that as mothers, or soon to be mothers, or possibly even women in general, we tend to be too hard on ourselves, some are better at being kind to themselves than others. I know I am one of the worst at that, and I am working on it. If we can forget all of the many things that may deter us from being "perfect" (so to speak) and concentrate on doing our best, whatever level that may be, we can feel overjoyed in knowing that we are making a difference in this world. In our Children, in those that may be looking to us as an example, unbeknownst to us. This mothers day, I had these feelings swell up in my heart and I felt such a sense of peace in knowing that I dont have to go this alone, and that, is the BEST mothers day gift I could have received.

A close and I mean VERY VERY Close runner up, if not tied for 1st place, is being spoiled to death by my family! Buddy made the most devine breakfast ever! Salmon with Potato Hash, with a poached egg and lemon Hollandaise sauce...YUM!! Then Isabella made me a card where it was very important (she said) that it rhymed. I had to work in Salt Lake the night before, and apparently she missed me. Then they surprised me with a Zune, which I cant even tell you how much I love.
Some lotions and loofahs, a delicate pearl dress up necklace that had to be tied to stay together, that I wore with pride to church. Bella thought I looked so pretty! And lots of loves and kisses.

And so I wont forget..the ryming mothers day card...

(even though you were gone last night.......I still love you with all my might)

rockin the orchard

I was SO nervous, but SO flattered! When I first moved here to Utah, I asked the mom of this little girl if I could borrower her for some photo practice.

We had so much fun and I learned alot! I wasnt sure how she felt about them, but recently she called me and told me she loved them and asked if I would take her sons senior pictures! I tried my best to prepare, thinking of the best locations, what light would be best, what poses would be most natural, etc,etc, I was feeling so very nervous. The shoot was Tuesday night and I dont think I've ever had so much fun. This is one polite and F.U.N kid! They say practice makes perfect, and I am SO happy I had the chance to do this!

The orchard one is my favorite..but this one is a close second!

Thank you so much Caleb and Lara!