it hasnt even been a month ...

**post update** today after school, I asked her how her challenge was of meeting a new friend. "It was GREAT! I was accepted in her club at recess so I didnt have to meet a new friend!"

Yeah, really great. When I tried to ask more questions as far as including other kids and being nice, all the good stuff, she had her hand raised the whole time and when I was done she sweetly said " Are we done with this conversation yet?" I am making it known now, I want boys from here on out! Not that I wouldnt want a billion Bella's in my life, I just dont know how to deal with this already.

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"How was your day sweetie"

"Not good. she isnt my friend anymore"

The following situation is bothering me big time! Since we moved here in January, Isabella has really missed her life in Portland. We kept telling her when school starts, as she gets to meeting new friends, she will see that its not so bad afterall. There is one particular little girl that Bella adores and really...REALLY wants to be friends with and everyday, I hear about another problem with her. "She wont sit next to me, she moves everytime I sit by her" " she doesnt want to talk to me" "She wont hold my hand but she holds other girls hands" This realllllly bugs me, on several levels. First, I think that the tender age of 5 is much to young to be concerned over such details, but I'm not 5, so clearly, I cant understand entirely. Secondly, I am having a hard time determining if this really hurts her, or if she is just simply talking to me about the days happenings. I think it definatly does bother her, but what do I do? Lastly, as any other parent, I never want my child to feel sad, or rejected, or hurt by someone else. This is part of my cry fest on the first day of school. I am terrified about what others might say to her that could be hurtful. My approach, up until this morning, has been to keep it light with her. I didnt want to give it to much reaction, in case she was feeling me out. I have just been reassuring her that she is fine, this girl might be having a bad day, nothing is wrong with Bella. But this morning Isabella told me on the way home "Nobody wants to be friends with me" That is tough to swallow, and I had enough. Oh My gosh, I feel so annoyed because we are talking kindergarten here! Why should any 5 year old need to feel this way? I just think its totally unessesary. I asked her why, it all came back to this one person. I challenged her to meet a new friend everyday and learn something about them. I told her that many other people will have things in common with her, and its fun to have different friends to play with. Then I made the mistake of letting my inner mother bear voice come out "Besides, you dont need to be friends with someone who is mean to you, its funner to be around girls that want to play and be nice" She thought about this for a few moments and said "But I only want to be friends with her because everyone wants to be friends with her"

I couldnt contain my annoyance..not with Bella, I said "Bella, I know it seems hard when you see everyone around her and there is not a place for you to sit, but sometimes there are just people who dont feel like being nice. Just think how fun it will be to make new friends that you can sit with everyday? You wont even have to worry about feeling bad anymore because you will have lots of new friends, and I know they will want to be your friends to" A part of me feels like, even though she's young, it will be good for her to learn how to work out these feelings. Hopefully, this will all blow over soon and she wont be feeling bad. The worst part is, we had this little girl over to play last week and they were inseperable, now that they are back in class though, Bella has all but dissapeared. I just felt like rolling my eyes and preparing myself for years of this kind of thing. Maybe its a girl thing, maybe its just part of being in school. Afterall, Kindergarten is as much about learning social skills as it is learning to read. I just wasnt prepared for this sort of situation so early on. I feel like a horrible mom for not preparing her for something like this..but at the same time, how do you really do that without damaging their confidence? I am sending her out into the big world and I havnt had enough time to prepare her. I wonder if I'll always feel like that. But I have a feeling, she will turn out just fine! (Its me that I worry about!)

"Things turn out best for those who make the best of the way things turn out."

-Art Linkletter